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Edgar Allan Poe
- Present = - Alternate Future self = }} |caption = Poe in current time, then his future self (Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come) |Team(s) = Massive Failures |Season Ranking = 5th |Episode Eliminated = No Shit, Sher-bot |Full Name = Edgar Allan Poe |Nicknames = Poe Emo/Freak/Emo freak Edgar Allan Dope The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come |Eye Color = Teal |Hair Color = Black |Friends/Allies = Napoleon Dynamite Miley Cyrus Eve |Enemies = Al Capone Cleopatra Justin Bieber Darth Vader Kanye West (one sided his part) |Relationships = Pets: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man |First Appearance (employee) = You're in the Wrong Neighborhood |Job = Cook (Season 2) |Coworkers = Gandhi Mikhail Gorbachev |Job Status = Working}} This page is about Poe in the present. To read about his future self, see here. Edgar Allan Poe, labeled The Freak, was a member of Massive Failures, and somewhat of a secondary protagonist. Info Edgar Allan Poe is a very quirky, faulty man, only speaking with rhyme (or something close to it). When he is not starving, he tends to be more friendly and welcoming to others, but is often shunned or outcast due to his strange nature. Despite this, he is able to still make friends, as he did so with fellow outcast Napoleon Dynamite, who he often sticks up for against Bieber. When he is hungry, his speech becomes infested with pleas for food, he slowly starts to snap, and after a certain amount of time, his personality will alter. Upon doing so, he will become much more violent, and his more poetic nature will slip to a more tempered, watered down, slang infested speech. During this, he is known to become violent and naïve, often to the point of hurting people (Adam and Bieber). He also tends to refer to himself as “dope” and “Reggie Hoez” among other things, matching the dialect with that of a stereotypical modern rapper. History Before TDERB Poe developed his alternate personality, Starving Poe. Season 1 Alternate Universe Yet to Come, who was Poe at the time, progressed far enough in the season somehow, making it to the finale. Here, Hitler defeated him with his Nazi army, resulting in his death, and then becoming the grim reaper. Destined to stop this, he got into the story's timeline and became a chef to warn the TDERB universe's Poe. Current Universe Poe's role for the first chunk of the season is minor. In Pilots, Rivers, and Bad Kanye West Jokes, he doesn't do much, aside from his usual gimmick and annoying Kanye West. He was placed on the Massive Failures. Once again, Poe's role is practically nonexistant in Wright Wing Brothers. He starts off by nagging at Mr. T to do the challenge, despite his kind nature towards women. Poe is sent to roll the barrel at Joan of Arc, but ends up hitting her along with Sarah Palin and Al Capone due to Sarah's blunt and dominance wanting nature. For a third time, Poe has no real role in The Dynamic Do-Over. He says minor lines, all in his usual rhyme speech, insulting Bob Ross, Kanye and Justin Bieber. Poe only has a single line in Apoca-Rick, as a "walker" influenced by Dumbledore's magic. Once again, Poe's dialogue is only 2 lines, each being minor speeches in You Might Pass. Edgar Allan Poe is once again a background character in Cooking With Chemicals. He questions why Lady Gaga should cook due to wearing a chef's outfit. He later gets caught up in the fight between the other guys on his team. Poe's role steps up a bit in I'm Feeling Lucky. At the beginning, he interrupts Kanye West's writing session to himself, constantly bombarding him with questions about his self love letter's reciever. Later, he hides with Bieber and Leonidas behind some bushes during the challenge, and ponders how Bieber managed to make it so far. When some Mustached Cowboys find their hiding spot, he and Leonidas give up Bieber to them without a moment of hesitant, and Peter deems the begrudged Bieber a trump card in the game. At the end, he and Leonidas sneak into the other team's elimination ceremony and watch them oust Kanye, much to their and Peter's horror. He and Leonidas decide to warn their team in You're in the Wrong Neighborhood, but none of them decide to believe them. During the challenge, he is assigned tool duty, and brings the equiptment needed in to build the house. He finds a piano, which he keeps in his room, much to the confusion of his fellow teammates. Poe is still worried about the other team's seriousness in Shakespeare Dat Ass, despite no one else believing. For the play, he is assigned writer for his team, and wanders off into the woods to write. For the actual skit, he brings out the piano from the previous episode, and plays a random song he wrote, despite not actually being able to play the piano. Upon getting up to continue, he accidentally tears Lady Gaga's dress, revealing her underwear and ruining the show. In the end, he is in the elimination final 3, but is safe. Poe's role is once again minor in Pretty the Fool despite his importance previously. He informs the team about the dress's state, and asks at the ceremony why they are there if no one is being voted off. "Starving Poe", Poe's alternate persona, is first introduced in High Heroes in a Half Shell. He is chosen to fight for his team, and has to go up against Adam. Throughout the challenge, he slowly starves, reactivating his starving mode at the right time. He makes quick work of Adam, gaining a point for his team. When Napoleon asks whether or not they want to win Adam back (due to mishearing something Zach said), Poe is seen beatboxing. In Avengers, Poe is not awake at the time the challenge starts, like the majority of the cast. He cheers when Adam and Eve get together, until being startled by an enraged Goku's enterance. He makes it far into the challenge, at the final two. In an anti-climactic turn, he sits down, and loses due to the strict rules placed on the current competition. At the elimination, he is moved on into the merge. Poe spends the first half of Mass Durbate looking for someone to support him, but gets rejected, then barks back at the contestants angrily. His speech goes well, despite his mannerisms annoying the judges, and his blunt sentences not answering their questions well. Poe and Napoleon Dynamite first start bonding in Neil Before Me due to their outcast ways. He is the first one shown to notice Neil's cosmos in the sky. Poe and Napoleon bond further in Shocking Truth. Napoleon mentions how he could illustrate for Poe, and Poe agrees that it would be nice if he would. They then declare themselves officially friends at this point. He is out first in the challenge due to taking "too long" to answer a question. At the ceremony, it was revealed he voted off Bieber in hatred. In Russian Roulette, Starving Poe makes it's return. The contestants are starved prior to the challenge, due to food being a possible reward from the wheel. Poe brings up spying on Napoleon's team earlier when Bieber says that he saw it, challenging him to prove such a thing, before being interrupted. For his first challenge, Poe must swim across the lake with a megalodon, courtesy of Edison. After jumping across the shark's mouth to avoid being eaten, Peter and most of the modern day contestants get worried because Poe had "jumped the shark", thinking it was the doom of the show. For his second challenge, he must punch Rasputin, which he does without hesitation (after learning he has no food). Poe later tries to comfort Eve, but to no avail. His final challenge was to supposedly beat someone up, as he planned to beat up Bieber, but ended up defeating the Russians instead of Ali and Jordan, who fought each other. Yet to Come first visits Poe in Parting the Competition, on his boat. However, he does not seem to notice him, unlike Bieber, who is fully aware of him and thinks he is some form of Poe (which is later true). After Bieber rams his boat into Poe's and they both fall into the water, Napoleon picks them up, hesitant on saving Bieber, and drives off. When the two fight, Poe steers the boat to their destination, but has a lot of trouble doing so. Upon catching up to Cleopatra, the boat he is steering is rammed into Capone's, sending Capone into Eve's, and messing up who is where. In the elimination ceremony, he, Napoleon and Eve are convinced by Bieber to vote out Cleopatra, trusting him for once. They succeed. They then plan to take out Bieber in an alliance. The new alliance starts off At Least Lee Tried planning their strategy, but get nothing done when Capone interrupts and berates them. They then begin to travel the tower together, but when Bieber abandons his group and messes up theirs, he and Eve venture onwards seperate from Napoleon. Eventually, the two are split even further, with Poe falling shortly before yet to Come catches him to warn him once more. Poe gets angered at the ghost, thinking he is someone saying whatever they can to create some form of a plot. Yet to Come decides to let him go through the maitenence stairwell of the tower to the top, much to Peter and Lloyd' annoyance. The episode leaves off on Yet to Come visiting Poe once more. Edgar Allan Poe's biggest role came in No Shit, Sher-bot.The episode returns to where the last one left off, on Yet to Come's visit. The two have a short conversation where Yet to Come hinted to Hitler's identity, and leaves Poe to solve it, saying that they are one in the same when Poe asks why he should trust him. Although the riddle has hints towards Hitler, Poe mistakenly took it as a hint towards Bieber being more violent than he seemed. He went around telling others of this erroneous guess, which they all teamed up to stop Bieber. In the end, Poe quit due to believing he was at risk, angering Yet to Come. Edgar Allan Poe returned in History Repeats Itself to assist Napoleon in the fight. Halfway through, before the fight began, Yet to Come stepped in to side up with them. When the fight got tough, Dynamite decided Poe and Yet to Come should fuse together as Yet to Come suggested. As Napoleon distracted Hitler, he fused with Yet to Come, and gained his abilities, so to speak. He used them to take down Nazi helicopters and finish tanks off. He then helped destroy the portal as well. In the end, he was hired due to Yet to Come being the chef. Between Seasons Poe was hired, most likely by force, to fill in the time Yet to Come was intended to work as a chef. Season 2 Poe has a minor role in Another Pilot, Eh?, trying to get the salt from Gandhi in the "hard working employees" scene. Speech Edgar Allan Poe is one of the 11 contestants to partake in the campaign in Mass Durbate. Name and Occupation: "Edgar Allan Poe. That name, you should know it. As for what I do, I am but a poet." Reasons for deserving the money: "Alas! Tis a question so curious. Do I want it for good? Or do I intend to be furious? While for good, as simple as can be, thou must know my intentions for the cash fee. An answer so bold, yet so queer, for what be the answer to why I am here? I give a simple nod, a tap to my chin. I intensely wrote it down with ink and pen. For years, I have written, ideas so quick, dark and gory and-''*cut off*''" What he's done: "My accomplishments, it is what you ask? I will say, at first, I hid behind a mask. But then I came to open, my words so sharp! I wrote music, stood tall, and even did art! My biggest accomplishment, a challenge I owned, was scoring three out! Palin, Joan, and Capone! And others that I have done, were-''*cut off once more*''" Supporters: "Ah, my competitors, there is too many to name! Vader, deGrasse, and everyone in the game! But who stands by me? A question that lingers. I went to many, but each flipped me middle fingers. So I only ponder who truly is there? I am but a many of an enigma, so lonely, so scared. A shunned emo man, who knows no love! I look to the sky, but am even rejected from above! I can only hope, as sad as it is true, that-''*cut off a third time*''" Trivia *Edgar Allan Poe is technically the first contestant to win, although he won in an alternate universe, and became Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. **He is the first person to be an employee and competitor, followed by Goku. ***However, unlike Goku, he does not return after being eliminated to become one. *Edgar Allan Poe is the third person to quit, after Mr. T and Bob Ross. *He is one of the few people to be present at an opposite team’s elimination ceremony before the pre-merge, as well as Justin Bieber and Leonidas. Category:Season 1 Category:Contestant Category:Post-merge Category:Team Massive Failures